where the sky meets the earth/Path of uncertainty pt.2

So today I went to the beach by myself. Now that my band is done...I have way to much time to myself. No one seems to be around anymore. Yet in a way that might be ok....so when I decide to peace out..I won't have to worry about all the bullshit people will have to say to keep me where I don't want to be. So I sat on a rock...and just stared into the herizon where the sky meets the water. And just thought to myself for hours about how weird my life has been..not just lately..in general(my whole life) And everything since birth till now! A while back if you read my blogs..I wanted to die. Sick, and tired of this dissapointment called life. Sick of losing faith in people, and in the things I try to do. But now(not like that feeling has changed really) I sat, and stared at the ocean, and thought of all the things that have made my life weird. Im not going to explain what...just read my past blogs and you'll see. As I sat on that rock...a man sat down on a rock next to me. With a hand full of cigeretts and a bad case of the shakes. He just smoked one after the other, and talked to himself. This guy had more to say by himself in the 30min. than i had to say to anyone in a fucking month. After he finshed all the butts he left..and I watched him pick through trash cans. Man...I hope i don't end up like that..I almost saw myself in the guy until I thought of all the great things I have done that this guy prolly did'nt( but what do I know?) He could have been a one time millionare for all I knew(in his tathered clothes, and nicotine stained fingers). In my time of just sitting my phone rang(which it hasn't done that often) and it was reynolds. He came down, and met me on the beach...with a cooler full of beers..and two cigars. We sat on the rocks drinking beers and smoking cigars like fucking men, that had the world at our feet. Even though we both have pretty shitty(and uncertain) things going on in each of our lives....it didn't matter. The world was our oyster for a while...and it felt pretty fucking good..to smoke cigars..and drink beer...and stare at the herizon together in wonder of the future...without really caring about it at that time at all.....cheers to a good time with a friend...even at the most confusing times for us both!

And we talked about doing it tommorrow as well...I could get use to smoking cigars! Makes you feel rich..not only in the pocket...but the soul!

Sorry for my cousins in north dakota for finding my blog(my darkness). I love u vrty much lisa and aubrey!I need to get the fuck away! And I don't like putting my problems on others...so I write the harshness here!
But I know this might not be easy to read.

thanx for reading all!